A charity shop worker in Belfast got the following reply from the business next door when she wrote to them asking for sponsorship for a charity trek.
Thank you for your recent begging letter. Please find enclosed a cheque for £100 (times are tough you know) to fund your wee holiday to China. Personally I think it sounds like lots of fun — I wouldn’t call walking 15k a day ‘vigorous’ but I suppose it might be quite hard for an old doll like you. I will be sure to ask you to contribute towards my next holiday.
We are very happy to support such a deserving charity, but having spoken to my colleagues in the office, we feel we must attach some conditions to this donation:
1. Stop taking our bin
2. Stop borrowing our calculators
3. Refrain from coming into the office for a period of one week. Perhaps then we can get some work done.
4. Whenever you get back, on no account are you to regale us with anecdotes about your time in China. I think I speak for all my staff when I say that I would rather slam my knackers in a car door than listen to you wittering on about the majesty of the Great Wall and the spirituality of mountain solitude.
On a more serious note, we would like to wish you luck for your walk and hope you raise plenty of money for a worthy cause.”