# Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help You

- Link: https://fundraising.co.uk/books/reinforcements-how-to-get-people-to-help-you/
- Published: 2018-11-26T08:33:55+00:00
- Author: Howard Lake

**Dr Heidi Grant explains how we can elicit helpful behaviour from your friends,
family, and colleagues, in a way that leaves them feeling genuinely happy to lend
a hand.**

This should sound very familiar to fundraisers. [The Agitator](http://theagitator.net)
commented: “The funny part is most of the lessons she has for asking for help from
another person apply to asking for a donation.  Perhaps this shouldn’t be strange.”

**Humans have a natural instinct to help others.**

Imagine walking up to a stranger on the subway and asking them for their seat. What
about asking a random person on the street if you could borrow their phone? If the
idea makes you squeamish, you’re not alone – social psychologists have found that
doing these very things makes most of us almost unbearably uncomfortable.

But here’s the funny thing: even though we hate to ask for help, _most people are
wired to be helpful_. And that’s a good thing, because every day in the modern, 
collaborative workplace, we all need to know when and how to call in the cavalry.

However, asking people for help isn’t intuitive; in fact, a lot of our instincts
are wrong. As a result, we do a poor job of calling in the reinforcements we need,
leaving confused or even offended colleagues in our wake.

This pragmatic book explains how to get it right. With humor, insight, and engaging
storytelling, Heidi Grant, PhD, describes how to elicit helpful behavior from your
friends, family, and colleagues–in a way that leaves them feeling genuinely happy
to lend a hand.

Whether you’re a first-time manager or a seasoned leader, getting people to pitch
in is what leadership _is_ . Fortunately, people have a natural instinct to help
other human beings; you just need to know how to channel this urge into what it 
is you specifically need them to do. It’s not manipulation. It’s just management.