# How to say 'no' to requests for social network introductions

- Link: https://fundraising.co.uk/2011/01/18/how-say-039no039-requests-social-network-introductions/
- Published: 2011-01-18T18:14:37+00:00
- Author: Kevin Baughen

I was interested this week by a [Harvard Business Review ‘tip of the day’](http://links.mkt3142.com/servlet/MailView?ms=ODU2MzEyS0&r=Mzc4ODU0OTIxS0&j=MjQ4ODc2NTMS1&mt=1&rt=0)
article which raised what I thought was an interesting question. How do you say ‘
no’ when someone asks you for an introduction that you’re just not comfortable making?
The author, [Jodi Glickman](http://www.greatonthejob.com/about/jodi-glickman), talked
about her experience of being asked by a colleague for an introduction to her literary
agent. For a number of reasons, it wasn’t appropriate as it would have reflected
poorly on both the friend and Jodi and so she suggested a policy we can all adopt
if faced with the same dilemma:

 * Be transparent
 * Provide a consolation prize
 * Stay in touch positively

⌊Just Say No - SEO Consultants Directory free usage⌉⌊Just Say No - SEO Consultants
Directory free usage⌉Personally I think these are all useful and I wish I’d known
about them a few weeks before Christmas when I faced a similar problem with a raft
of introduction requests on LinkedIn. Unknowingly, I followed Jodi’s points but 
undertook a few other actions which I thought I’d add to her list.

 1. Believe that it’s OK to say no and practice… honestly, you wouldn’t believe how
    hard some people find it to turn down social network requests for fear of being
    ostracised by Groups or ejected by ‘socmed’ police.
 2. Don’t just ignore it. Take a moment to proactively explain why you think a direct
    introduction might not be the best option right now. We can’t assume the person
    asking knows everything that we do about the sought after individual or what they
    might have going on right now, or indeed what you have going on.
 3. Ask for contact details that you will pass on through different channels. This 
    gives you the option of explaining the nature of the introduction to your contact
    and putting them in control of any further communications.
 4. It’s OK to have a policy of not introducing people you barely know to others – 
    as long as you explain that politely and professionally (if appropriate). it might
    even be an idea to write a few words on your social network profile to this end?
 5. Don’t just introduce everyone who asks without thinking first – see point 1! Your
    contacts won’t appreciate you clicking ‘yes’ or ‘accept’ to requests for connections
    from unrelated and irrelevant sources any more than you would if the situation 
    were reversed.
 6. Don’t run to the moderators or group owners too soon if you get an irrelevant or
    inappropriate introduction request. There are lots of nationalities and cultures
    represented on social networks and it might just be that someone has a different
    approach to you and in reality isn’t taking the proverbial. Try some of these ideas
    first.

What have you done or said to requests for tenuous introductions? How do you feel
about receiving introductions to make a connection you don’t see any value in?

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Kevin is the founder of [Bottom Line Ideas](https://www.fundraising.co.uk/bottomlineideas.com),
a Trustee and serial volunteer for several charities.

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