# To thank or not to thank Felicity Donor… - Link: https://fundraising.co.uk/2010/07/28/thank-or-not-thank-felicity-donor/ - Published: 2010-07-28T12:24:26+01:00 - Author: Howard Lake A bit of an online debate has developed this week, sparked by a [Thirdsector blog](http://community.thirdsector.co.uk/blogs/felicity_donor/archive/2010/07/06/charities-should-not-waste-their-money-on-fluffy-thank-you-letters-to-donors.aspx) from a Ms Felicity Donor.  She states that she genuinely isn’t bothered about being thanked by a charity she chose to support. “Why would I want to be patronised by a soft, fluffy letter thanking me for my help?… if they’re spending my cash on [research] rather than a letter, it’s fine by me.” A number of sector notables, including [Jeff Brooks at Future Fundraising Now](http://www.futurefundraisingnow.com/future-fundraising/2010/07/donors-opinion-can-lead-you-astray-of-the-facts.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+FutureFundraisingNow+%28Future+Fundraising+Now%29) have (politely) suggested that Ms. Donor is entitled to her opinion but that she’s wrong.  Ubiquitous ‘research’ has been cited which suggests that charities MUST thank supporters in a timely fashion.  If we’re honest this also passes the basic common sense test. ## Advertisement [⌊Posthub advert. You create the campaign. We'll handle the postal journey. Get started at post-hub.co.uk.⌉](https://fundraising.co.uk/ads/posthub-20261007-300x250/) But hang on just a tic… Felicity Donor is entitled to her opinion and surely we can’t believe that she is the only donor on the entire planet who holds this opinion.  In fact it’s more than likely that her opinion is shared by many people but we, as communicators and fundraisers, tend to base our decisions and activities on majority rule.  After all, most research only ever illustrates this point and seldom recommends a 100% trusim. Consequently, perhaps it’s not for us to tell ALL of our donors what’s best for them?  A recent penguin blog suggested several reasons [why the donor or customer is not always right](http://bottomlineideas.wordpress.com/2010/07/20/why-the-donor-supporter-or-customer-isnt-always-right). We are told by various experts and research that our world is changing faster than at any time in history.  The explosion in new media, an ageing population in the western world, significant cultural differences impacting on each society and the much documented ‘different view’ of the world held by Generation Y, all have a bearing. Therefore the expectations placed on any charity by its target audiences are increasingly varied. Isn’t it time we started to think more seriously about ways of capturing communications preferences at the start of our relationship or a donation process?  We could then apply them appropriately throughout a relationship; appealing to Ms. Donor, me, my parents, my grandfather – everyone (whether today’s donors actually want a ‘relationship’ in the traditional sense is a big topic for another day). After all, the first rule of supporter engagement is to listen then act, not assume then act. Thoughts? * **[What’s in a thank you?](https://fundraising.co.uk/2010/08/05/what039s-thank-you/)**( 5 August 2010) * **[10 simple truths about direct mail every fundraiser should know](https://fundraising.co.uk/2010/08/10/10-simple-truths-about-direct-mail-every-fundraiser-should-know/)**( 10 August 2010) * **[Send more thanks not less](https://fundraising.co.uk/2010/10/07/send-more-thanks-not-less/)**( 7 October 2010)